


Hear You Me

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grieving Isaac, Heartbreak, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Isaac Lahey, Loss, M/M, Memories, Sad, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 11:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14872625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: When Isaac gets the news, he doesn't believe it. He doesn't believe it on the drive to the hospital, or when Melissa leads him and Scott through the building, not even when they reach the morgue. He doesn't want to believe when he sees the body laying on the cool metal slab. He wishes it was a dream, but it's not. No matter how much he wishes it was.





	Hear You Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LovelyLittleGrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLittleGrim/gifts).



> This is for Amanda, who spiraled with me on this. ♥  
> Title and song used: [Hear You Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=537v5Avw_mU) by Jimmy Eat World

  
[Banner made by the amazing Elie](http://eliestarr.tumblr.com/)

 

Isaac smiles as he makes his way home. It’s been a long day and he’s just ready to be home with Nolan, with his _fiancé_. It’s been a long time coming but the pair are finally engaged and ready to start building their life together.

Isaac glances down at the flowers in his hands, Nolan’s favorite, and his smile widens as he imagines giving them to Nolan.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket when it starts ringing, seeing that Scott is calling him, “Hey buddy.”

There’s silence, and then a deep inhale from Scott before he speaks, “Isaac, there’s something I have to tell you.”

Isaac stops in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling his heart speed up at not just the words but the way they’re spoken, with a sadness Isaac wasn’t expecting, “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“Yeah Isaac, there is. Are you… are you home? Or someplace you can sit down?” Scott asks.

“I’m a few blocks away from the apartment,” Isaac says, “And I’m not sitting down. What’s going on?”

Scott sighs, “I’m on my way to you. Something happened Isaac. And it’s not easy to say.”

Isaac really isn’t liking where this is going. His mind is running through all the possible reasons Scott could be contacting him like this, “Have you talked to Nolan? Does he know about whatever this is?”

There’s another beat of heavy silence and then Scott’s voice comes out sounding more broken than Isaac has heard it in years, “Isaac. Nolan’s… he’s dead. There was a mugging and he tried to step in to stop it and he got…”

“No,” Isaac says, his voice firm. “No! You’re wrong. You’re wrong. Nolan’s at home, waiting for me. We’re going to have dinner. This isn’t…”

Isaac ends the call and pockets his phone and then starts running. His legs are burning with the pace he sets but he needs to get home. He needs to see Nolan’s face and then he can tell Scott that he’s wrong. That he was talking about someone else.

Isaac takes the stairs two at a time, too impatient to wait for the elevator. He knocks on the door but there’s no response. Cursing, Isaac pulls out his keys from his pocket and unlocks the door before throwing it open and running inside. He barely registers that the door bangs loudly against the wall, he’s too busy scanning the room and listening for the familiar sound of Nolan’s heartbeat.

“Nolan?” Isaac calls, “Nolan! Where are you? Nolan!”

Only silence greats him. Not Nolan’s voice or the sound of his heartbeat or his feet padding down the hall. But that doesn’t mean anything. Nolan could be anywhere else. Just because he’s not here doesn’t mean that he’s…

Isaac shakes his head and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. He can’t think about it.

“Nolan,” Isaac whispers, “Please.”

“I’ll take you to him,” Scott’s quiet voice says from behind him.

Isaac nods, letting Scott lead him out of the apartment. The flowers are still held tightly in his hand. Wherever Nolan is he’ll need them. He barely registers Scott closing the door and then putting a hand on his back and leading him down to his car. He gets in and buckles his seatbelt but the movements are automatic, as if he’s on autopilot. His body is working but his mind is blank. He’s not allowing himself to think.

“Bring me to him,” Isaac says.

“Okay buddy,” Scott says, and then he starts the car. He stares out the window but he doesn’t see anything. It’s a few minutes into the car ride that Isaac remembers his phone. He can just call Nolan.

He pulls it out and clicks on Nolan’s name, watching as a picture of them pops up before bringing the phone to his ear. It rings a few times before going to voicemail,

_“Hey this is Nolan. I can’t come to the phone right now…“_

_“He’s too busy being ravished,” Isaac’s voice chimes in._

_“Isaac,” Nolan hisses and then speaks into the phone again. “I’m busy doing something…”_

_“And one of them might be his boyfriend!”_

_“And I can’t make it to the phone! Leave a message and I’ll get back to you!”_

_There’s the sound of giggling and then the message ends._

“Hey Nols,” Isaac says, “It’s me. I know you’re probably busy with the kids or something. But I’d really like to hear from you so if you could just call me back. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

He feels Scott’s eyes on him but he ignores him. “Isaac…”

“No,” Isaac says, “Don’t. Don’t say it. Nolan isn’t… he’s not. And you’re going to see that when we get to him.”

There’s a sigh but Scott doesn’t say anything. Good. He’ll see. Nolan will be alive and smiling that bright smile he always gives Isaac when he sees him. He’ll be at work at the home for abused kids he works at, probably having stayed over to help.

***

_Isaac looks over at where Nolan is reading over the papers on his desk, his glasses perched on the end of his nose. He looks adorable, even with the serious look on his face._

_“What are you looking at?” Isaac asks, walking up behind him and putting his arms around his waist and hooking his head on his shoulder._

_“Just some stuff for the home for abused kids that Derek told me about,” Nolan says, “I just found out I got hired and can start tomorrow.”_

_“Are you sure?” Isaac says, “You know I love how big your heart is and how much you want to help people, but it’s not in a good neighborhood Nols.”_

_“I know that,” Nolan says, “I’ve had to break up a few muggings myself when I’ve visited, you know that.”_

_And Isaac does. That’s part of the problem. Nolan is always throwing himself into danger to help people out. They’ve discussed this before and it’s always ended with Nolan telling him to stop worrying so much. Isaac never does._

_“I’ll be fine, stop worrying so much. I can’t just not help someone in trouble,” Nolan tells him, practically reading Isaac’s mind, “This will be good for me and the kids. It’ll help them to see that there is hope for them Isaac, like there was for us.”_

_Isaac really can’t argue with that. He wishes he’d had something like this to help him when he was younger and he knows Nolan does too. He also knows Nolan can’t just sit by while there are people out there that might need his help._

_“I know,” Isaac says, “I just don’t know what I would do if something ever happened to you. I love you. Just promise me you’ll be safe.”_

_“Always,” Nolan says, turning in Isaac’s hold. He hooks his arms around Isaac’s neck and smiles, “I love you too. And this life we have.”_

_Then he’s kissing Isaac, soft and sweet, ending any argument Isaac might have._

***

It’s raining when they pull up outside the hospital. Isaac looks over at Scott in confusion but he just shakes his head, “Come on. He’s in here.”

Isaac gets out of the car, feeling his suit start to cling to him from the rain as they run through it towards the doors. Isaac still doesn’t believe it. Not when Melissa greets them at the door with a sad smile and starts leading them through the halls of the hospital, Nolan could just be hurt. That’s it. Isaac still doesn't believe it. Not even when they reach the doors of the morgue. They could be looking at a body for a case and Nolan’s helping. He has trouble not believing it when they pull out the drawer and Isaac is faced with the sight of Nolan's body on it, cold and lifeless, marks of red across his chest and abdomen that appear to be stab wounds.

Isaac just shakes his head, "No. That's not Nolan. It can't be."

Melissa’s hand settles on his shoulder, “It is Isaac. I wish it wasn’t but it is. He lost too much blood. He was dead when the ambulance got there.”

“No,” Isaac chokes out, “No please. This isn’t real. It can’t be. It’s a nightmare. Someone pinch me.”

He turns to Melissa and Scott to see them watching him. Melissa is crying, tears streaming down his face and Scott’s face is pinched in pain. Neither of them move.

“Do it!” Isaac shouts, rolling up his sleeve and holding out his arm, “Do it! Pinch me. Hit me! Do something! Make me wake up! Because this,” he gestures to the body on the cold metal slap, “this is not real. It can’t be.”

Even as he says the words he knows they’re not true. It’s his last ditch effort to avoid the cold reality. The reality where Nolan is dead and laying there on that stretcher. That he died afraid and alone in some alley and Isaac wasn’t there to stop it.

“Please,” Isaac whispers, “Please just pinch me so I can wake up and be with Nolan. I can’t be without him. I can’t.”

He holds his arm out again, watching as Melissa and Scott share a look. Then Melissa is reaching out and pinching Isaac’s skin firmly. It hurts, but not as much as the waves of sorrow that rush over him when he finds himself still standing in the morgue.

“No,” Isaac sobs, the flowers dropping from his hand onto the floor. “No no no.”

He turns back to Nolan and shakes his head, hot tears spilling down his face, “Oh Nols. No.”

He launches himself at Nolan, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face in his neck. His scent is all wrong already, sour with the stench of death. It’s that that has Isaac screaming. He screams and he pounds on Nolan’s chest, crying and begging him and anyone that will listen for him not to be dead.

“Please,” Isaac whispers, “Please babe. Please. Don’t be dead. I can’t…”

His words die as sobs wrack over his body. He crawls up onto the drawer, his body fitting over Nolan’s like a shield.

"He's so cold,” Isaac sobs, “He never liked the cold."

“Oh sweetheart,” Melissa says, putting a hand on his back.

Scott’s hand joins hers a short while later, both giving him silent comfort he doesn’t really feel. All he can do is sob against Nolan’s neck, his chest aching with the pain of losing the love of his life.

“It’s not fair. We were going to get married. We were happy.”

“I know,” Scott says, his voice slightly hoarse, “I know. And I’m so sorry this happened Isaac but you can’t stay here like this.”

“Where am I supposed to go?” Isaac says, the thought of going home to his empty apartment making him cry harder.

“You can come home with me for tonight,” Scott says, “Danny’s already making the bed up.”

“I can’t leave him,” Isaac says.

“Honey I know it’s hard but he’s not here,” Melissa says, brushing a hand through his hair, “His body might be but he’s not in it. He’ll always be with you though. All around and in the things you two loved.”

“He wouldn’t want you to stay here like this Isaac,” Scott says, “You know he wouldn’t.”

“I don’t know what he’d want because he’s dead,” Isaac snaps then closes his eyes. He pulls back to look down at Nolan. He brushes his hand through his hair, feeling how dry it already is. He knows they’re right. He can’t stay here. And this isn’t Nolan, not anymore. That doesn’t stop him from leaning down and letting his lips brush across Nolan’s too cold ones.

“I love you,” Isaac murmurs, “Always.”

Isaac lets Scott help him off the tray and then just stands there, staring down at Nolan. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to walk out of here. How he’s supposed to let Melissa roll Nolan back into the cold darkness and then leave him here alone.

“How am I supposed to do this?” Isaac asks, his voice hoarse from all the crying.

“Little by little every day,” Melissa tells him, “And you won’t be alone. You have so many people that are here for you sweetheart.”

“We’ll give you a moment,” Scott says. He squeezes Isaac’s shoulder and then leaves the room with Melissa.

Isaac looks down at Nolan, his eyes trailing down to the wounds. At least 10 in the front. Nolan wasn’t even supposed to be in town today. He’d had the day off and had planned to spend it at home looking over figures for the charity. Isaac was coming home early from his work at the office for the charity the pair had set up, planning to surprise Nolan. Then he’d gotten called into a last minute meeting and had left later than he’d planned. If he’d left when he was supposed to…

But no, he shouldn’t think about that. Those thoughts will take him down a road he doesn’t want to go right now.

Isaac sighs and shakes his head, his fingers itching with the need to touch Nolan. So he does. He brushes his hand across Nolan’s cheek, imaging what it used to feel like warm under his touch. He brings his forehead down, resting it against Nolan’s.

“I love you Nolan Holloway. So much. I always will. Nothing is going to change that, not even this. You’ve gotten under my skin in a way no one ever has or ever will be able to again. You’re it for me. I believe that, even now. And I will see you again. I’ll just be taking the long way around.”

Isaac closes his eyes, feeling his throat close up and tears burn behind his eyes again. He doesn’t fight them but lets them fall.

“Shit,” Isaac mutters, “How am I supposed to live without you Nols?”

 _Little by little every day_ , a voice echoes in his head.

It doesn’t sound like Melissa this time but Nolan. Isaac knows it’s probably because it’s what he wants to hear but it still has him choking back a sob. He stands up, letting his lips linger on Nolan’s one last time before pulling back. He pulls the sheet up, hesitating before pulling it over Nolan’s head. After a deep breath he lets his shaking hands pull up the sheet. His heart is thudding painfully in his chest as he rolls the drawer back in and closes the door.

He leans against the cool metal as sobs overtake his body, his fists coming up to bang on the door.

“Isaac,” Scott says, pulling him away from the drawer.

His eyes move across Isaac’s face and then he’s pulling him in for a tight hug, his own tears falling wetly against Isaac’s cheek.

“I’m so sorry Isaac,” Scott says, rubbing his hands up and down Isaac’s back. “I know this isn’t easy.”

Of course he knows. It might have been going on 7 years ago but the loss of Allison still hangs over them. But they’ve moved past it somehow. It had taken Isaac a while and some time away but he’d been able to move on. He’d healed and because of that he was able to let himself be open to a relationship with Nolan. Now he’s gone too.

“Why does everyone I love die?” Isaac asks, “Is it me? Am I cursed?”

“No,” Scott says, his voice firm, “We’ve all just been dealt some pretty shitty hands but you are not cursed.”

“It feels like it,” Isaac mutters.

“I know it does,” Scott sighs, pulling back. “I know it’s not something you want to hear right now because it might seem impossible but it will get better.”

Scott’s right, Isaac doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to imagine a life where he’s just okay with Nolan being gone. He just wants Nolan back.

***

The funeral takes place on a Saturday afternoon. The viewing room is packed with people, some Isaac has never seen before. He’s a little surprised. He always knew Nolan had friends and people he worked with but to see this sort of turnout is a little startling.

“Who are all these people?” Isaac asks, looking over at where Liam and Scott are standing next to him beside Nolan’s casket.

“A lot of them are kids from the home,” Liam tells him. “Nolan touched a lot of people’s lives Isaac.”

Isaac always figured he had, and he saw a little bit of it with the charity they ran but to see it all in front of him like this is something else.

He looks over when someone walks up to them, sniffling a bit as they stare down at Nolan’s body. He turns to Isaac and holds out his hand, “My name’s Andre. I knew Nolan from the home. He helped me a lot man. I don’t think I would be standing here if it wasn’t for him. And it’s nice to finally meet you. Man he talked about you all the time. How happy he was, how you two were going to get married. He really loved you. Anyone could see that. It gave us all hope that if you two could find love and happiness then maybe we could too.”

Isaac nods, unsure what to say. He never knew Nolan mentioned him at work, and to hear what he’s done for the kids first hand. Isaac brings a hand up to his eyes, feeling the hot tears starting to spill down his face.

He looks up when he feels a hand on his arm, “Is it alright if I hug you?”

Isaac nods, letting Andre pull him in for a hug. “Thank you,” he whispers, “thank you for telling me that.”

“Thank you for sharing him with us,” Andre says.

Isaac lets out a wet laugh, “Oh I just accepted it. Nolan did what he wanted and I worried constantly. But he loved working there with all of you.”

Andre pulls back, giving Isaac a sad smile, “I know. It’s not going to be the same without him. A lot of the boys are already worried about coming in. They think they’ll be targeted worse now that Nolan isn’t around.”

Isaac frowns. Nolan wouldn’t want that. He’d want things to carry on without him. He’d want someone to step in and help the kids out.

“What if there was someone else there?” Isaac asks.

He can feel Liam and Scott’s eyes on him but focuses on Andre who is looking at him curiously, “Like who?”

“Me,” Isaac says, “Nolan loved that place and he’d want someone to carry on his work. I’d like to do that, if that’s okay.”

“It’s more than okay,” Andre says, “We’d all love to have you there.”

“Is there room for more?” Liam asks and Scott nods.

Andre smiles over at them, “Yeah of course.”

Isaac watches them discuss plans, more people stepping up and joining the conversation. He knows moving forward without Nolan is going to be hard, some days he’ll probably be lucky if he can make it out of bed. But knowing he’s going to be doing something to carry on the work that Nolan loved so much gives him a sense of purpose, a way to remember the man he loves.

Isaac sits there, feeling his throat close up as a group of kids from the home get up and start singing. The words of Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World washing over him.

 _And if you were with me tonight_  
_I'd sing to you just one more time_  
_A song for a heart so big,_  
_God wouldn't let it live_

He knows how fitting the song is in regards to what Nolan had been doing for the kids. He was their mentor, someone that showed them it was possible to move on after being in such a horrible situation. He gave them hope. Now it was up to Isaac to try and do that.

 _I’m proud of you. Be happy_.

Isaac nods and wipes at his eyes as more tears spill down his face. He doesn’t know if that’s possible, but for Nolan he’s willing to try.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW, so that hurt to write. I don't usually do death fics but once the plot bunny got into my head it wouldn't leave me alone. Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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